What is in it for them?

I have learnt over time, that the best way to get what you want is to help others get what they want. To strive for a win-win. And to put the thoughts of others first.
This works every where. At home, in the office, at school, in a social club. Just everywhere.  The thing is, people don’t like to think that they are being used. They hate it when we try to objectify them and use them as a means to achieve an end.
There are not many people who like to do things for free (in every sense of the word)….so for whatever your desire or request is….make it a duty to ask, ‘What is in it for them’. What does a bottom line look like for the other party?…..if you are not going to give them something tangible in return, at least leave them with a good feeling about themselves. Feeling that they somehow got something also.
How do you do this?
The first thing is to detach yourself emotionally from your request as much as possible….it is very tempting to think that it is only your needs that are legitimate while theirs don’t matter much. So take time to do the emotional labour of putting them first.
I know you really want ‘it’….and you want all of ‘it’ now. But the cheapest & fastest way to get ‘it’ is to put others first. To think of what us in it for them. Once you can factor that out, it’s almost natural. You will get what you want
…and by the way, it is the adult thing to do in any of such exchange!

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